Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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