Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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