Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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