Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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