Monday, January 23, 2012

love funny quotes


Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson



Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990



Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore




Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis




Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim



I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997




In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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  • You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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  • Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown
    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

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  • When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)


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