First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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