The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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